Please read this donation at your leisure, it might contain a lethal amount of dad jokes.

"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?" "Sofishticated."

"What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?" "Where's Pop Corn?"

"How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut."

"Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired."

"What kind of car does an egg drive?" "A yolkswagen."

"Why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain?" "It didn't have the guts."

"You think swimming with sharks is expensive? Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg."

"What country's capital is growing the fastest?" "Ireland. Every day it's Dublin."

"Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize."

"I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know."

"Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas."

"What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta."

Every time I take my dog to the park, the ducks try to bite him. That’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

Most people can’t tell the difference between entomology and etymology. I can’t find the words for how much this bugs me.

Enjoy!